


midnight

by kidcorvid (technicalViolist)



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: F/M, Screenplay/Script Format, this is a dialogue exercise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-09 21:46:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12897498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/technicalViolist/pseuds/kidcorvid
Summary: PROMPT: Dave and rose lose one of their phones in one of those huge ball pits. They snuck in while it was closed so they can’t ask anyone to help and they can’t get caught because they may be arrested for breaking and entering and trespassing.





	midnight

**Author's Note:**

> PROMPT: Dave and rose lose one of their phones in one of those huge ball pits. They snuck in while it was closed so they can’t ask anyone to help and they can’t get caught because they may be arrested for breaking and entering and trespassing.
> 
> THIS IS....NOT HOW YOU FORMAT SCRIPTS! but i didn't feel like formatting it the right way, because that doesn't work on AO3.

 

 

**EXT. STREET ALLEY – NIGHT**

It’s 11 o’clock at night under a cloudy sky. Dim streetlights cast everything in a hazy orange glow. DAVE and ROSE are standing in a dingy back alley, arguing lowly. A few scattered CARS race past on the street in front of them.

DAVE: _It’ll be there in the morning?_ Y’know, someday, you’ll hear the words coming out of your mouth and you’ll realize that it’s complete fuckin’ bullshit and then you’ll understand my pain. Then and only then will you get a taste of how excruciating this is for me. Like what the hell, you want me to be tweet-less for a whole ass 24 hours? God, you might as well just line me up in front of a firing squad, about face gentlemen, ready aim fire and I’ll have to pull a Jesus on these motherfuckers. Do you want me to pull a Jesus on these motherfuckers. It’s not even feasible for me to pull a Jesus on these motherfuckers so I guess I’ll just have to die a noble death and it’ll be your fault because _you won’t let me get my phone._

ROSE: Is it really such a shame to die a noble death in pursuit of one’s goals? Besides, the ball pit doesn’t open until 9 tomorrow. You can survive.

DAVE: See that’s the really funny thing about you? You say these things that don’t make sense and expect me to understand you.

ROSE: Would you like me to repeat it in French?

DAVE: What? No, it’s just – I really need my phone, man.

ROSE: And _what,_ my dearest friend, could _possibly_ be so important that you can’t wait until morning?

DAVE: [shifting uncomfortably] It’s uh, it’s nothing. I just really need my phone. Like, we live in the 21st century? Information age and all that jazz, I’m talkin’ straight Matrix. Plugged into the mainframe y’know, surfing the net waves, catchin’ some sick curls, hangin’ ten –

ROSE: Goodbye.

DAVE: No, no, wait don’t – hey quit walking so fast!  I just – I need my phone, and I can’t pick locks! So I kind of need you to do that so I can ninja in there real fast and grab yonder cellular device and –

ROSE: Dave, we already broke into a children’s park. I’m not interested in doing it a second time.

DAVE: Well I don’t know why _that’s_ the case, as we just had the time of our lives, but –

ROSE: Did you see the police guard walk in? Because _I_ certainly saw the police guard walk in, and this _just_ might come as a shock to you, Dave, but I am not actually interested in being arrested for breaking into a children’s park!

DAVE: Come on, that’s just part of the fun, and –

ROSE: And you don’t need it. Until you reveal just what it is you need it for tonight, you’ll just have to deal.

DAVE: It’s…a secret? No, put that eyebrow down, it’s actually a secret.

ROSE: A secret.

DAVE: Yeah.

ROSE: Something that you actually feel like you cannot tell me.

DAVE: …Yeah, that’s the idea.

ROSE: Something that you actually must keep your mouth shut for.

DAVE: Yes?

ROSE: I’m so proud of you!

DAVE: Shut the fuck up, uh. Anyway. Can you please help me.

ROSE: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

DAVE: I am begging you. I am getting down on my knees and actually begging here. Do you want me to grovel at your feet? You’d like that right?

ROSE: It’s getting very late, Dave. I’m tired.

DAVE: God, okay, fine! I uh, I left my credit card in my phone.

ROSE: Really.

DAVE: Yeah, you know the little pockets they make for your –

ROSE: I know. I’m also going home now if you don’t stop stalling.

DAVE: I still can’t tell you because it’s a secret. That you can’t know.

ROSE: Has anyone ever told you you’re incredibly irritating? I’m not joking right now.

DAVE: The great Rose Lalonde? Ever cracking a joke? I’ll die before I see the day. Anyways I pinky promise you, you won’t regret it if you just let me grab my phone. Like really quick. The security dude won’t see shit.

ROSE: Hmm. No.

DAVE: Early Christmas present?

ROSE: I already have a present for you that doesn’t involve petty crime.

DAVE: Oh, well, if you feel like you’re not up to the challenge, that’s fine I guess. I mean, I thought you could do better than that but whatever. It’s your engag – ah shit.

ROSE: My _what?_ Now that’s interesting.

DAVE: You didn’t hear shit.

ROSE: Especially interesting, considering I’m not engaged.

DAVE: No seriously, that’s not what I meant.

ROSE: And the fact that you’re so desperate to derail me is even more interesting.

DAVE: Uh, go fuck yourself? But seriously it’s – 11:45? Ok cool, I have 15 minutes. Rose, I am so serious right now, scout’s honor, if I don’t get my phone in the next 5 minutes, I will have a meltdown.

ROSE: I’ve seen you pick yourself up from worse.

DAVE: What a cruel mistress! You’ll really let me just have a whole ass mental breakdown just because you’re too lazy to pick a lock?

ROSE: Dave, is this your incredibly shitty way of proposing.

DAVE: Uhhhhhh definitely not. No, that’s not what this is, no idea what gave you that impression –

ROSE: [patting his cheek] Good. Because I wouldn’t have said yes if it was.

Rose walks away, smiling.

DAVE: You’re joking right? Like you’re actually joking right now, yeah?

DAVE: Rose?

DAVE: ROSE!

End scene.

**Author's Note:**

> this was a fun dialogue exercise even though it didn't actually go the way i was expecting it to and i didn't clearly explain what was going on. dave needs his phone so he can buy rose an engagement ring. he's poor as hell though, and the place he's buying it from has a sale that lasts until midnight. he can't afford the ring without the sale.


End file.
